I went into No One Lives with mixed to low expectations. Most reviews ripped the movie to shreds, although a few had made it sound like an over the top, blood soaked fun ride. So, I settled in for what I believed was going to be a non-stop, action packed stalk and slash movie.
What I got was something completely different, and honestly, not all that enjoyable.
The basic plot is this: "Driver" (Luke Evans) and his lady love Betty (Laura Ramsey) are on the road together. They seem like a normal, albeit very serious, couple. They stop to grab a bite to eat, and find themselves being harassed by a biker gang, lead by Hoag (Lee Tergesen). It isn't until after the group has kidnapped Driver and Betty that they find out that Driver isn't all he seems to be. In fact (and the previews give this away) Driver is a very talented serial killer/psychopath who has a young woman (Silent Hill Revelations Adelaide Clemens) locked up in his trunk, and a small arsenal hidden away in the trailer he has hitched to his car.
No One Lives is an odd duck. The first twenty minutes of the film are loaded to the brim with stiff, too serious dialogue and borderline ridiculous attempts at character work. All of the scenes between Driver and Betty are painful to watch, with both actors delivering their lines in dull, deadpan seriousness. The dialogue is so unnatural and theatrical that it draws the audience right out of the film.
I am going to be completely honest. The beginning of this movie is painful. Even a very brutal scene involving a whole family being offed feels off kilter with some of the characters throwing out dialogue that can only be described as low rent Shakespeare.
Once Driver and his girlfriend are kidnapped things pick up, and yet... they don't.
For as violent and bombastic as the film is, it never really seems to kick into high gear. There is no tension, no urgency. The majority of the characters are so unlikeable that most won't care if they live or die. It is also obvious who is going to die, and when. There is no surprises. The whole thing is just on autopilot.
Then there is Luke Evans' performance. He isn't bad, but holy crap is he dull. He has a few moments where he shines through, giving the character a little evil, playful glint in his eye, but for the majority of the film he comes off as stiff, and even worse, bored.
Also, as violent as this movie is, it never seems to go far enough. Don't get me wrong, there is blood, but after watching films like the Evil Dead remake, this movie seems almost tame. Most of the kills are pretty straight forward, and the few over the top set pieces are actually fairly restrained with the nastiest bits happening off screen. Gore hounds might find themselves disappointed with this one.
The film isn't all bad. Adelaide Clemens actually turns in a pretty entertaining performance. While she plays her character detached and shell shocked, she always has a look of mild amusement about her. She's the audiences' eyes through most of the film, and she handles the role of heroin wonderfully, creating a strong and interesting character.
America Olivio and Lindsey Shaw also turn in two very fun performances, with Olivio playing the hard ass biker mama, and Shaw playing Hoag's daughter. Both women get to participate in one of the most random, hilarious, and truly awesome cat fights I have ever seen since Charlize Theron and Terri Hatcher threw down in 2 Days in the Valley. That scene alone almost makes the movie worth seeing. Almost.
Still, No One Lives feels like a total missed opportunity. Too much of the film plays it safe, and even when it does start to go over the top, it ends up pulling it's punches. Skip this one.
Instead of No One Lives check out:
The Collection
Versus
Evil Dead (2013)
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