Why this blog stopped...

I recently started a Reading Diary, and while setting up that blog I started looking at Square Zero again. Thought I would hop over here to post something that no one will read. 

It has been many years since I have touched this blog. I still look at it from time to time, and remember all the work I put into it. I had a blast keeping Square Zero running. So, why did I stop? 

Life happened. 

I switched careers, moved to a different state, got married... the list goes on. I still had time, but I didn't have the energy to keep up with something like Square Zero.  It honestly breaks my heart that this was one of the many things that fell away as I got older. 

I think one of the other problems I had was that all the different series were getting out of hand. There was just too much for me to keep track of, and eventually everything just toppled. I think, deep down, in stopped being fun for me. I was trying to force myself to write stories that I wasn't really ready to write, or that maybe I thought would be cool, but weren't really in my wheel house as a writer. The ReBirth Cycle for sure was one of those. I had no idea where I was going with that one, and writing it was starting to be painful. 

Now, looking over these old stories, I do ask myself if I would ever give something like Square Zero (and my previous blog, Soap Sudz), a shot again. The answer is... maybe? On a smaller scale. I don't know. My brain is yearning for a creative outlet, and this blog had always been one of the best for me. I have ideas. I always have ideas. The question is, do I have the energy and the drive to try doing a serial again? 

Maybe? 

Don't get your hopes up, but... I can't say it will never happen. I want to make sure I have it in me, and don't just stop midway through like I did when this ended originally. 

The more things change, the more they stay the same

So, February is passing by quickly, and the new schedule is in full swing! As much as things change, they also seem to stay the same. As much as I would love to start an all new, original series, I'm finding myself drawn back to the series that were the initial roots of Square Zero.

The lone exception to this is Tentacle University. While set in the same universe as Accidental Demon Slayers and Pom Pom Angel, the series is kind of the odd duck out, and I couldn't be more grateful for that fact.  The stories being told in that series are dark and twisted, and allow me to explore storytelling that I wouldn't dare explore in the other series.  There is a kind of freedom to not sticking to mythology and just letting each story become its own entity.  While Tentacle University was a more straight forward action story, Tentacle University 2: The Sorority is becoming something very different, with more of a focus on human drama, and truly twisted characters.

Even New Pom Pom Angel is a change up for me.  Normally my stories tend to work in longer arcs, but I'm finding that Missy and her friends work better in shorter arcs that tell simpler, character focused stories.  I'm not saying there won't be longer stories later, but for right now the series is working best as a series of short, fun tales about the lives and loves of these characters. It is also a nice contrast to the extreme darkness that is Tentacle University and Eye See You.

Speaking of Eye See You, Infection has kind of changed things up for the series.  Instead of shorter, character hopping arcs, this current arc is running much longer than I had originally planned, and is staying focused on just one character.  While I'm tempted to change things up, just to fit the format of the first year, I'm realizing that the story I'm needing to tell, and the ground work I need to lay for the future of the series, requires me to stick with Dave for a while longer.  The changes that I've made to the world of Eye See You require me to establish a lot of details, especially the new threat of Virus, and so form must be pushed aside to allow the story to be told.

Even Rituals, and the Rebirth Cycle as a whole, is shifting.  Instead of just focusing on life in a demon infested world, I'm looking at the series as a way to pull all my other work together, blending in characters from all my other series to create a larger adventure.  It has actually been fun for me to figure out how I'll pull in specific characters, and what roles they will play once they are worked into the story.

The one thing that has changed in a big way was my original plans for the Cycles.  Basically, the Suffering Cycle is dead.  Well, maybe not dead, but for now it isn't really a thing.  Letters from the Dead still happened, and the events will still work into future Accidental Demon Slayers stories, but the actual plan I had for the Cycle just didn't seem to work out. I may use the moniker in the future for when doing Accidental Demon Slayers side stories, but the full idea of the cycle has kind of dissolved. Those things happen, and the important part is how one recovers from an idea going up in smoke.

So, there is the state of things here at Square Zero.  Hopefully everyone enjoys the series!

School has taken over!

So, I guess I was wise to write so far ahead.  School has hit me like a ton of bricks.  I forgot what the last semester can feel like. Tons of work, which means tons of time to work on said work.  Don't you worry, though.  The schedule here will not be broken.  I've managed to keep series running smoothly during a swamped schedule before, and I won't stop now.  I'm just glad I have so many short form series.

I hope you all are enjoying the new series.  New Pom Pom Angel and Rituals have been very fun to write so far, and my foray into Tentacle University continues to extend itself past my original, planned end date..  I think I'm a gluten for punishment, because even when I had originally planned to lighten my schedule, I went right ahead and kept it as fully loaded as could be.

The new year approaches...

So, as 2015 winds down, I have to think about where things are going from here for Square Zero. The blog will continue, of course.  I enjoy writing these stories too much.  I also still plan on finishing the second game at some point.  It may take a while, thanks to school and work and life in general, but I still want to work on it.

More importantly, I'm going to be trying some new things when it comes to my actual writing process.  My stories on here are very stream of thought.  I make it up as I go along.  Most of the time that works out okay, but when it doesn't work out, it REALLY doesn't work out (see Melody of Light and A Dark Lesson for examples... or don't). So, I'm going to do some little experiments when I write.
Looking around the internet for ideas, one constant I saw from story to story was the importance of actually writing, as in putting a pen to paper.  So, I gave into my addiction to stationary, and ordered a pack of notebooks and some pens, and I'm going to do just that.  I'm going to put pen to paper and see what happens.

It is weird to talk about handwriting a story as an experiment.  I'm an 80's baby, and and a 90's kid. When I was younger handwriting a story was just what you did.  I remember the magic of sitting down with a fresh notebook and digging in, writing story after story. A bunch of those stories actually inspired my second serial that I wrote for my original blog, Soap Sudz (you can check out the first episode of Spirit Lake here).   I wrote my first screenplay in a spiral notebook that got passed around my 8th grade class.  Then, once I got to high school, and eventually college, I stopped writing by hand, and just went to the computer.  It was "easier".  Except... it isn't really all that much easier.  In fact, sometimes it makes it harder.  A computer is an amazing thing, but it also offers countless distractions.  When I was writing down a story into a notebook, the notebook was my only focus.

Hopefully I can recreate some of that magic.

I need to apply those same ideas to my second game as well.  My brain runs a mile a minute, and when I'm planning a story my thoughts can fall all over themselves.  I can think of scenes and story lines and characters, and what was supposed to be a simple, straightforward ghost story can suddenly turn into a grande exercise in excess.

Yes, part of the reason that ADS2: Possession is going so slow is because of how crazy my life has gotten.  The other reason is that the story, while still making sense, has gotten too big for me to handle the game entirely on my own, at least when it comes to making the game in a timely manner.  My original plans grew and grew, and now... now there are so many plot paths and story elements that just looking at the game file overwhelms me.  Now I know why a lot of these games have multiple writers.

So, going into the New Year I plan to make some personal changes, but I also plan to keep this blog running as smoothly as possible.  I'm trying to plan something to take the Monday slot after Elves of Darkness ends on the 28th, but I don't have anything in stone, so there won't be a formal announcement for a while.  I've got plenty of ideas for new series, or continuations of old series, but instead of rushing them onto the blog, I'm going to take my time and try and get them right.  So expect some programming announcements in the coming months.

Have a Happy Holidays, everyone.

Looking to the future...

I love writing this blog, and I plan on writing for as long as I can muster up the energy.  So, looking to the future for the current series, I don't see any major shake ups coming any time soon, outside of the canceling of A Dark Lesson.

The second season of Eye See You will be starting as soon as the current section is wrapped up. Season 2 is titled Eye See You: Infection, and I'm already several posts into that one.  Tentacle University will keep chugging along, helping me filter all my Toshio Meada related madness into a series that has turned into a blast to write.  And Ruins will keep being Ruins. I actually finished Ruins a while ago, and am currently planning the second half of that story, Rituals. But there is still a good deal of time before Rituals will premier (as there is still a good chunk of Ruins yet to be posted.)

While my brain is constantly thinking of new series ideas, this is the first time where I am stopping myself from giving into that urge.  I'm not saying I won't start a new series at some point, but as of right now, I'm just going to focus on the mess currently on my plate, and do my best to getting back to enjoying it.

Thoughts on Koji Suzuki's "Ring" Trilogy

I had always been a fan of the original Ringu and Ring movies.  Ringu had been my first real exposure to Japanese Horror.  I actually  scoured the internet, finally finding subtitled copies of the first two films on VCD (Video CD for those of you lucky enough never to have to deal with it. The format was a smaller version of Laserdiscs).  I devoured every film in the series, and even attempted to watch the truly terrible Japanese TV series, The Ring Virus. I even loved the American remakes.  Yet, in all of this, I had a difficult time getting into the original novels.

All three novels, and the collection of three short stories, have been available in English for a while.  I actually bought the first book when it first came out.  I never finished it.  Finally, during my Christmas break this year I gave the books another shot.  I am now almost done with the third book, and am completely and totally entranced by the world Koji Suzuki has created.

An important thing to keep in mind when approached the Ring trilogy (Ring, Spiral and Loop) is going in understanding that the books are nothing like the many film versions.  While the first book and the first film do follow similar narratives, they are told in two completely different ways.  The most important change is that, while the films are told from a female perspective (specifically that of a mother or maternal figure), all three books are told from a male perspective.  The first book has almost no central female characters in it at all.  It isn't until the short story collection, Birthday, that any female characters are given a fleshed out voice.  The gender swap changes the tone of the story drastically, and alters the central relationships of the book.  The emphasis on the mother/child relationship is almost completely absent.  Even Sadako's own mother, a central character to the mythology of the films, is barely present in the first novel, and all but forgotten by the second.

Sadako herself also has a more limited presence in the story.  No longer is her ghost crawling out of TV's. Instead, her story is told through the main characters uncovering details about her life through research.  She never appears as a ghost. Not even once.  People are not "scared to death" as they are in the films, but instead suffer from heart attacks.  Over all, while the book does contain some supernatural elements, the story feels much more grounded in reality.

These are only the changes made to the first novel.  Once you get to Spiral, the second book, the films and the novels completely separate. (This is not accounting for the film Rasen, which attempts to faithful retell the story of the second book.  The film, ingored by most, is mind numbingly dull, and because of that has faded into obscurity.)

While the first book, and the first film, followed similar narrative beats, the second book does a 180, pulling away from the supernatural, and shifting the story into the world of science and genetics. Yes, you read that right. Science and genetics. Oh, and math. Instead of ghosts and psychics, the story focuses on medicine and the mutation of viruses.  This is only amplified when the reader reaches Loop, the final novel in the trilogy, which broadens the scope to encompass the origins of life on earth.

So, now that you understand some of the basic differences between the film series and the novels, lets delve into the novels themselves.

The books are structured not only chronologically, but also by perspective.  Ring, the first book, is very closed in.  The consequences are much smaller. The book is, effectively, a single circuit.  While the risk is great to the main character, it is more of a personal ordeal, localized to himself, his family and his friends.  Spiral begins to open up, showing much larger consequences, while amplifying the risk of failure, while still maintaining personal risk, loss and gain for the main character.  It also reveals more of the world, giving the reader larger chunks of history, as well as the pathology of the "evil" that threatens not just the central characters in the book, but also the world as a whole.  Then you reach Loop.  The story, again, takes a step back, revealing the entire world, and a whole new world in the process.  Suddenly everything becomes clear, and the meaning of the first two books changes considerably.  It also re-introduces the supernatural into the story, but now from an unexpected source, Native American Folk Lore. The supernatural is no longer used to explain what is happening, but instead is looked at as a puzzle that may contain applications for the real world. The book moves outside of Japan, and into the North America, expanding the "evil's" reach, as well as exploring its true intentions.  As the books progress the story also moves farther and farther away from being considered typical horror.  While the stories are terrifying, they are so on a different level.  No longer is it about the things that go bump in the night.  It is now about the fate that humanity is rushing towards, and can't see coming until it is too late for most.

Note that not once did I mention Sadako in those descriptions.  That is because Sadako is not all that important.  Not as film audiences know her, at least.  Sadako is something completely different in the books.  She is an entity, a force of nature. She is not a ghost seething with rage.  She is an organism with a plan, a set of goals.  She is decidedly less human. The greatest exploration of Sadako does not actually occur in the first book.  While her history is revealed, she as a character remains a bit of an enigma.  She is not so much a person, but is instead a collection of memories. It is not until Spiral that she becomes a true character, and the revelation of her true purpose is surprising. She is terrifying, but not because of her anger, but because of her purpose within the human race.

Another interesting aspect to the book series comes from it being written in the early 90's.  The specter of AIDS looms large over every detail in this story.  It is hard to explain exactly why without revealing too much, but just know that the books truly capture the panic and fear that gripped the world during that time.  I was only a kid during the AIDS epidemic, but I do remember how the fear of contagion infiltrated every aspect of life. That same paranoia and fear is reflected within the stories contained in these books, and in Sadako herself. I'm going to explain in greater detail in the next paragraph, but just be warned, there will be spoilers.

**BEGIN SPOILERS**  One aspect of the novels that has consistently been stripped in all film versions is that Sadako is male.  She identifies as a woman, but she has testicles (originally described as being external, but then later as internal), and is genetically a male, although she physically presents as a very feminine and pretty young woman.  Unlike in the films, where Sadako is killed by her mother, in the books Sadako is murdered by a young doctor after he rapes her.  The doctor is infected with smallpox, which he transmits to Sadako during the rape.  Sadako's will to live, and her wish to reproduce bond with the smallpox virus, creating the ring virus, which is what victims are infected with when they are exposed to various forms of media (in Ring it is a video, in Spiral it is a novel and in Loop it is a computer program).  So the virus is actually transmitted and mutated through homosexual intercourse (even though the doctor perceives Sadako to be a genetic female). As Sadako evolves, she also becomes a hermaphrodite, as she grows a womb, and no longer requires sexual intercourse to reproduce.  She essentially becomes a walking, talking virus, as she can continue to reproduce, and at the same time infect people through various means of exposure, which includes sexual intercourse. **END SPOILERS***

While some may be turned off by the drastic differences from the films to the books (and remember, the books did come first), I have enjoyed them immensely.  While I love the films, the books have created a completely different narrative. While the film series took the building blocks of the first novel and created a compelling series of ghost stories, Koji Suzuki was able to take the narrative structure of a ghost story and expand it into something that is tied not only to reality, but to the creation, composition, maturation, evolution and potential destruction of the human race. Sadako scared the hell out of me the first time I saw her crawl out of that TV.  Now she is scaring me all over again, but not because of the unknown supernatural horror she could potentially inflict, but because of the way she could unravel the very fiber of humanity.

A bit of honesty

So, as my old series wrap up, and my new series start up, I would like to explain my choices a little more.

In all honesty, I have been very unhappy with how Melody of Light and Love Rescue turned out. Actually, since this blog post is titled  "A bit of honesty", I guess I need to be more open.

I absolutely hated writing those two story lines. There are parts that I think are very well done, but as a whole, they both spun their wheels for so long that any real momentum I could have created I cut off because I had zero direction as to where I was actually going to take the stories.

Melody of Light was the most painful.  I had no idea what I was doing with Q, Aria, or the Witch until probably part 25. For a while Aria was the bad guy (hence the creepy vision of her in the plane, which makes no sense with how I wrapped things up...).  Then it was Q. Then it was the Witch. The who, what and why were constantly changing in my mind, which made parts of the story, and specifically those three characters, very uneven. I was struggling to write it, which meant that I didn't have much of a buffer between my current post, and my last scheduled post.  Usually I like to be three months scheduled ahead. With Melody of Light, I was lucky if I had three weeks scheduled. I just couldn't get the story to work, and it was a real struggle to even sit down and write.

It finally started to click into place around the time Liz got pulled into the mirror.  Then things became easier, and I was writing scenes that I actually thought turned out pretty well (the scene with Bobby and Kurt in the shower, and Liz's whole capture scene are two scenes that deserved to be in a much better story) but there were so many loose plot threads from early on that I started to feel like the whole arc didn't make much sense. (That whole riot in the hotel lobby was my attempt to tie in the HeartBreak Island stuff I had made such a point to make stand out early on. Yeah... that bit me in the ass big time.)

Before I started Letters from the Dead and Ruins I was planning on doing an arc about Clare and Max's wedding called Ceremony of Darkness. I thought about it and thought about it, and I found myself dreading the idea of writing it. Everything I came up with was horrible. I'm serious. They were truly and utterly terrible. 

I didn't want to look at that world, and those characters, characters I have spent over a year living with, and dread them.  So, I needed to make a change.  It was either that, or just give the series up all together, and for me, personally, giving up wasn't an option. I still have stories that I want to tell, they just aren't the stories that the series was moving towards. 

I needed to step back from the characters, and look at the world from a different point of view. I needed a little distance from the core group of Demon Slayers Inc. to properly expand the universe beyond them. I needed to find that spark again that made writing Experiments in Darkness and Daughter of Darkness so much fun. (Daughter of Darkness is personally my favorite of the four arcs, actually.)

Now, on to Pom Pom Angel. The series is on hiatus because I cannot figure out what the next story will be.  I know there is one, buried deep inside of my head, but it hasn't been fully formed yet.  While I don't consider Love Rescue one of my better stories, I do love the cast of characters. I want to do justice for those characters, and give them a worthy series.

I went into that story with no clear idea of what I wanted the tone to be, or what I wanted it to be, really.  Sure, it was going to be goofy, but was it going to be sweet and fun, or a little more mature and raunchy?  What I ended up with was a very uneven tone that didn't really correct itself until the last half of the series (around the time I introduced Regina).

As I was writing I could feel my brain spinning its wheels, attempting to stretch out the posts so that maybe I could find a plot thread that I could latch on to.  Even with the more focused plot in the later half, it still never really hit that right note.  And, again with the honesty thing, the arc doesn't have an ending. At all. It just kind of... ends. Why? I could not, for the life of me, think of any other way to end the story, so I just got everyone together to save me set up time for the next story, and faded to black.

Those characters deserve better than that. I actually think Pom Pom Angel has a very strong start. Missy and Gus both have very entertaining, funny voices. The problem is, that type of series requires a lot of time to build and grow.  That was time that I just did not have, and I learned that the hard way.  As I was writing, and attempting to figure things out, I felt myself losing the characters' voices.  They became muddy and kind of uneven.  Things did snap back into place when Regina showed up, but at that point I realized that I needed to wrap things up, and really sit down and plan before even considering starting a second story arc.

So, Pom Pom Angel is not dead, but it will be gone for a while. At least until I can figure out a proper story, (and figure out a schedule that will fit said story.  That's a whole different post, though.)  I am considering possibly bringing Missy and Regina into Ruins somehow, but that is too far in the future to make any promises.

So, Letters from the Dead and Ruins were born out of all this frustration.

As much as I want to discuss Ruins, I really can't.  I don't want to give anything away.  Just know that ALL of the core characters from Accidental Demon Slayers will eventually show up in some way, shape or form (that includes Max and Rita), and that the story I have planned is big, and fun, and I'm having a total blast writing it.  I'm also having a blast creating a new cast of characters to inhabit the world of the story, and as I near part 40 of the story, I am really enjoying how they are developing.

These are the details I can give you.  The story is post apocalyptic, the initial focus is on a completely new cast of characters, it plays up the fantasy aspects from the original Accidental Demon Slayers, and it will be more of an adventure series than horror series.

As for Letters from the Dead, the story came out of me wanting to do something different, and again, explore the world of the story from a new angle.  I have been wanting to do another Wheaton Prep story ever since I finished the game, and I decided that this would be the perfect chance for me to give it a go.

I'm finding both of these series very freeing.  With the Accidental Demon Slayers stories I felt myself holding back when it came to the horror scenes. With Letters from the Dead, and the whole Suffering Cycle, I am finally allowing myself to go to those dark places that I never really felt comfortable going with my first stories.  While Daughters of Darkness did push some boundaries, even then I found myself editing posts to lessen the impact or shock.  As much as Ruins, and the ReBirth Cycle, are focusing on the fantasy and adventure aspects of the original series, the Suffering Cycle will be an outright horror series. It will be dark, it will be violent at times, and if the ideas I have in my head make it onto the page, it will be shocking.

Since I have mentioned the whole cycle thing, I feel like I should also explain that, since the idea also applies to Eye See You.  For my first two series I wrote, I stuck to an arc structure.  As in, the stories moved in a linear fashion, each story happening either directly, or not long after, the last arc ended, but always with the timeline moving forward. It worked fine, but there were a lot of stories that I wanted to tell that wouldn't work in that model. With the Cycle model that I am working out, the stories don't always move forward. Sometimes the next story will be set in the past, or the future. Together they will create a cohesive whole, but each story may not be the linear continuation of the story before it. So, the timeline can cycle forwards or backwards, depending on what part of the world I want to reveal at that point.

A perfect example would be this. For Eye See You, the first two parts are told in the present, the third part however, is told in the past, by a character who is dead in the present story.  Doing this allows me to reveal certain parts of the story, and specific details about the rules of the world, without having to force characters to "figure it out (which usually means a sudden epiphany followed by an info dump).  It gives me, as the writer, a chance to organically reveal details about the story through the story, and revealing different viewpoints that I would not be able to focus on through a more typical, linear, arc based model.

Make sense? Well, it does in my head at least.

So, there is the process that led me to the major changes at Square Zero.  I am still figuring this blog out as I go, and I always knew that it would eventually have to change and evolve.  Hopefully you stick around to see exactly what it can become.

And I completely missed a very important anniversary!

Accidental Demon Slayers: The Serials has been running for a year now! How the heck could I have missed that?

So, in honor of that one year anniversary, I will terrorize you all with my terrible art.  These are four covers for the four story arcs that I've done over the past year.    They were actually something I did for a project in class, but this anniversary seems like the perfect time to release them!





 Clare and the Ghost Hunter         

 (Character on Cover: Clare) 
  Experiments in Darkness
                                                                            (Characters on Cover: Left-Kurt, Right-Bobby)

Daughter of Darkness

                  (Character on Cover: Rita) 

Melody of Light

(Characters on Cover: Left- Clare, Center-Aria, Right- Bobby)

Something is coming... Something New...

So, if you look over at the series posting schedule, you will notice a little something new.  Yep, there is a TBA listed there.

Now what could I be planning?

Check in on Halloween to find out!

The Theater of My Brain

I drive a lot for work, which means I spend a lot of time alone, in a car, with nothing but top 40 radio and my own thoughts.  Music always gets my brain working, the songs creating a narrative in my head.  The narrative may get replayed or rewritten, but it is constantly evolving, moving, shifting, growing.  When the music stops, and I sit down to write, the story continues to carry the beats that formed it.

I love my time in the car.  I've done most of my plotting for the stories on this blog during my drives.  The stories grow and take form as I rush from courthouse to courthouse.  Not all the stories I create end up on the blog.  Not all of them get written.  

The ones that do get written, the ones that I don't know what to do with, sit unfinished in a folder on my computer, waiting for the day when they pop back into my brain, and the story becomes something solid, ready to be born.  That doesn't always happen.  Some of those stories may never amount to anything more than just a few pages.

I don't let the fact that a story doesn't take form stop me though.  I press on, onto the next story, onto the next drama that my brain has formulated.  It took me years and years before I could ever even complete a major project that I started, and even now, it isn't always a given.  Writing takes energy.  It takes more energy then people even realize.  It can fill you up with joy and excitement, while also draining your mind.  Writing takes time, something that I seem to have less and less of as I get older.  Writing takes passion, which seems to be my driving force.  Not a passion to make it, or be recognized, but to get the world of my sometimes dark and twisted, sometimes goofy, sometimes playful mind out onto the page, and out into the world.

I don't let the failures or the stalled ideas stop me though.  I love this too much to let it stop me.  I don't write this blog to gain fans.  I write this blog to share something I love with those who are willing to listen.  If that is one person or one hundred people, I am just grateful that someone has taken the time, that precious and limited commodity, out of their day to even glance at something I have made.  If no one looks, then it just there for me to enjoy, to create, to release.

Life is never easy.  As I approach thirty, my life looking nothing like I had planned, I still find myself drawn to writing and creating.  When I was younger I dreamed of being the next great horror author, but now the success doesn't matter.  I can find success elsewhere in my life.  That doesn't mean the writing will stop.  That just means that I can remove the pressure to succeed, and replace it with the joy of creation.  So what if I will never be as good as King, or even Koontz or Saul? I yearn to tell stories, and so that is what I do.  I do it because I love it, because no matter what, my brain will create stories and characters and worlds, and I will take great pleasure into putting those thoughts into words.

Even this post has been bubbling up in my brain.  Originally I had intended it to be a slice of advice, but soon I realized that I am not in a position to give advice.  I am not a teacher, but a student.  I am still learning, and will always be learning, listening and growing.  If I have any advice to give it would be this:

Do what you love.  Do it not because it will bring you wealth, success or fame, but because it will bring you joy.  Do it because it is yours, your gift, your art, your creation, a child of your thoughts and dreams.  If it brings you success, fame or wealth, then great.  If not, then it is still great, because it is yours, a part of you.  Don't do it so that others will praise you.  Others are fickle.  Others can, and most likely will, tell you to do something else, something worthwhile.  Know that your passion, your drive, is worthwhile, if not for them, than at least for you.  

A little feedback please!

Hey guys, if you are regularly reading the stories, let me know what you think.  I know both of them are just starting out, but let me know what you've been liking, and what you think could use a little improvement.  I'm already thinking of what to do next, and your input can help me figure out what direction to take things.

Have a great night, and keep reading!

The Arc that just wouldn't quit! Plus so much more!

So, that ended up going on a whole lot longer then I had expected.  40 parts!  I had never planned this story to be this long, but I have to admit, I had a blast writing it!

I hope you all enjoyed Daughter of Darkness.  I'm already planning the next arc as I type this.  I'm hoping to do something a little lighter, a little more fun, and a little more focused on the romantic lives of the Accidental Demon Slayers crew, while also supplying the over to top supernatural action.  The next arc will be called... Melody of Light.

I say I hope, because if Daughter of Darkness taught me anything, it's that a story can sometimes just take on a life of it's own.  The original plan I had for the story was nowhere near as violent, or shocking as it ended up being.  Still, I think it's time to rebuild the characters after breaking them down in the last two arcs.  Personally, it will be nice for me to take things a little slower, and let the characters relationships grow a bit.

Also, as a little test, I am adding another serial to the blog.  Posting once a week, on Wednesdays, will be a new series called Pom Pom Angel.  The first arc will be called Love Rescue.  Pom Pom Angel is a more... Square Zero take on the helpful 'goddess of love story'.  By Square Zero, I mean... kind of insane.  I've only just started the series, but so far I'm having a blast writing it.  Plus, it's nice to take a break from the more serious and violent Accidental Demon Slayers and write something that's more upbeat, and comical.   I'll be watching the numbers on Wednesday, and if Pom Pom Angel seems like it's holding readers, then I'll keep it going (but no matter what the first arc will be finished, mostly because I am to finish the arc before the first part even posts.)

So, join me next week as we start Accidental Demon Slayers: Melody of Light and Pom Pom Angel: Love Rescue!

Writing "nice" ain't so nice

As I'm working on the next arc of Accidental Demon Slayers (plus a little something else) I am finding myself struggling with something.  I can't write "nice".  I can write dark and scary, mean and nasty and on occasion inappropriate and kind of sexy (and dirty), but nice is a struggle for me.

Does that mean I don't push forward?

Oh, trust me, I have considered starting over, but really, what would I gain?  I mean, I could rest on what I'm comfortable with, but what growing would I really do if I played it safe?  Anyone who thinks they know everything about anything is a fool.  We are always learning, always growing and one of the best ways to grow is to challenge yourself.  Plus, I'm already twelve parts in.

So, I'm keeping up with my original plan.  While Daughter of Darkness had its own struggles, those were more about content and how far to push things.  This new arc (and that little something else) is a whole different kind of struggle, but one that I will face head on.

Wish me luck!

Also, to any one out there who wants to write.  This is a perfect little lesson for you.  We all have stories that we are drawn to, and naturally those are the stories we tend to create.  Sometimes, though, you have to take a risk, and dive head first into new territory.  Do it.  Take the jump, and take the risk.  You have nothing to lose, not really, and everything to gain.

All the pieces are falling into place...

So, everyone is in their starting marks for the final third of the story.  Daughter of Darkness is running much longer than I had originally planned, but I have to admit, I've enjoyed writing the story  immensely.  It's become much darker and way more twisted then I had originally envisioned it, but sometimes a story just takes on a life of it's own, and takes off!  (Just a heads up, it gets even more twisted as we get closer to the final battle.  Especially once Grath and his tentacles make an appearance.  All the characters better watch their asses!)

As I begin to write the climax for this particular story, I am already starting to plan out my next serial with the Accidental Demon Slayers crew. I'm thinking about something a little lighter, and less connected to all the growing mythology that has been coming up.  I'm also wanting to do something with Max and his crew... depending on who survives the final battle, of course.

Let me know what you guys think, and more specifically, if you would like to see more adventures with Max and his Ghost Hunters, either on their own, or as a continued part of the Accidental Demon Slayers cast.

Thank you all for reading!  I hope you have enjoyed reading these stories as much as I have enjoyed writing them!

Doom!, or why no character should ever be considered "safe"

A friend of mine posted something on my Facebook wall that got me thinking.  It was a little poster that said "I ask myself 'What is the worst thing I can do to a character?' and then I do it."  I jokingly said that it was my motto, and then I realized something.  It really was.  I tend to terrorize my characters, and when I feel like it, I'll kill them off without warning.  I've held back while writing Accidental Demon Slayers, but am I hurting myself by doing this?  In the past, my stories would off major characters left and right.  In my mind, no character should ever be safe.

Now, obviously this is not a hard and fast rule.  It depends on the story you are trying to tell.  If I'm writing something that I want to be sweet and romantic I'm not going to just randomly drop a piano on the romantic interest just to shake things up... or maybe I would.  Hmm... Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is this, if you are writing a story where death is a regular feature, then you should never be afraid of killing off a major character.

A perfect example of shooting yourself in the foot by playing it safe is the Scream franchise.  The first two films took major risks in choosing which characters to bump off.  Randy's death scene in Scream 2 is a shocking and horrific moment.  Yes, fans reacted horribly to the scene.  They were horrified and saddened by a popular characters death.  Yet, the reacted.  That's the point.  His death scene created a very real, very emotional reaction in the viewers.  Instead of pushing forward, and throwing the rules to the wind, the creators of the series pulled back.  Fans freaked, and the creators got scared.  By Scream 4 a formula was so firmly in place that the series lacked suspense.  Of course the core three characters would make it out alive.  Sure, they would be worse for wear, but they would walk away, ready to star in the next chapter.  By not taking risks, and by making certain characters safe in a world where any character is supposed to be on the chopping block, the series becomes dull.  Why bother watching if you already know the outcome?

Series like Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead understand the importance of taking risks when it comes to characters lives.  The best way to keep a viewer, or a reader, engaged is to keep them on the edge of their seat.  Sure, Rick may not be buying the farm any time soon, but the idea isn't really all that out there.  Andrea is a long running character in the comic book, but she didn't make it past season three on the TV show.

There is another reason I'm writing this post.  While working on Daughter of Darkness, I struggled with the idea of killing of a main character.  A big part of me really didn't want to, and I avoided it as long as I could, but as the story moved along, and that moment came closer and closer, I realized that I had to do what was best for the story, no matter how much it hurt.  The world of Accidental Demon Slayers is one where characters are killed, usually in brutal fashion, on a regular basis, and by saying that this group of characters is exempt from that rule effectively makes the character work outside of the rules of the story.  I was trying to force the story to go one way, while the story itself was going in the opposite direction.  In the end I realized that the character in question really was there for this moment.  They had no real future in the story, and most likely would have just faded into the background.  By writing their death scene I gave the character a purpose.

There is a reverse to this as well.  Sometimes I can get a little "kill" happy.  Anyone who has read any of my horror scripts can attest to this.  I would kill characters off just for the hell of it.  There was no real reason behind it, and it hardly ever served the story.  Actually, it would end up hurting the story.  You can't really force shock.  You can sure as hell try, but if it doesn't have a purpose you can end up forcing your story right into a corner, and find yourself having to start over because you just removed a key part of your story that was required for everything to come together later on.  I've done this more times then I can count.

Anyone who writes can tell you that a story tends to take on a life of it's own, and when you fight against it, try to force it's direction no matter how clear it is that your path is the wrong path, the story will fall apart.  Let the story develop and, in a way, tell itself.  Yes, these scenes are there to create a reaction in the reader, but more importantly they should be there because the story requires it.  Maybe killing off a main character will shift the stories perspective to someone else.  Maybe it's that catalyst that pushes the other characters to act.  Maybe it's that moment that forces the other characters to examine their selves, and their journey, and push the story into a whole different direction.  You cannot be afraid to take those risks.

Going back to my earlier post about my time in the Columbia Fiction Writing Department, one of the school mantras was "don't censor yourself."  Most of the students (myself included) took this as an order to be tasteless and out there and shocking.  The more I think of it, the more I realize that I had misinterpreted the true intention of that mantra. The word censor instantly makes one think of graphic, or inflammatory content.  The true meaning of it was to not be afraid to take risks.  Don't hold back out of fear of what others might think, but instead go forward and trust that they will understand.  They may not always like it, but if it truly fits with the story, then they will accept it.

As I learn to apply that rule to my own writing I have learned to take joy in hearing people tell me they were upset by a characters death.  That tells me two things. First is that the character is effective enough that their demise has an effect on the reader, and second is that I am keeping the reader engaged by going against their expectations while still developing the story.  

So, the lesson here is to take risks.  Playing it safe with your story, and with your characters will only rob your story of potential impact.  Taking a risk does not mean being shocking and vulgar for the sake of being shocking and vulgar, but instead with allowing yourself to let the story grow on it's own, and naturally form into what it needs to be, not what you initially planned it to be.

Why I Do What I Do

Obviously, when I started this blog, it was meant to be something more personal.  This was started out of the frustration of having to restart my life as I approach 30.  I'm still in the process of doing that, but I have to admit, I'm feeling a whole lot more comfortable with my life then I did when Square Zero began.

Eventually Accidental Demon Slayers, and the serials, took over after a while.  There was a reason for this, though.

The reason is... I love to write.  I don't mean I enjoy it.  I mean, I LOVE it.  I absolutely love writing.  It has been one of those things in my life that has always brought me joy.  Well, almost always...

I've been writing stories since I was a little kid.  Being able to disappear into a world of monsters and mysteries was my greatest escape.  Writing helped me explore more mature ideas, like dealing with death, as well as ideas on sexuality.  Writing gave me a freedom growing up that nothing else could.  If I wasn't writing stories, I was dreaming them up.  I still do that.  90% of my day is me thinking about the next story I'm going to write, or developing an idea that I've had stewing around in my brain for years.

The only time I ever felt that joy diminished was when I was in college.

I went to Columbia College Chicago for a degree in Fiction Writing.  You would think that spending every day thinking about writing, talking about writing and actually writing would be my dream.  I thought it would be.  Instead I left that school never wanting to write again.

If you have read any of my stories EVER, then you know I love writing genre fiction.  I always have, and I'm guessing I always will.  My stories tend to include massive amounts of monsters, blood, guts, sex and swearing.  I enjoy writing stuff that is over the top.  While I respect authors who want to create great works of literature that reflect the human condition, and explore the depths of the human psyche, I would prefer to write about sex crazed zombies invading a home for nuns who moonlight as strippers.  The problem is, the program I was in looked down on genre fiction.  It wasn't all the teachers, mind you, but a good chunk of them.

There was one teacher in particular who not just looked down on genre fiction, but, at least in my eyes, seemed to actively hate it.  Of course, I would have this teacher (who shall remain nameless), for not one, but three classes through out my time at Columbia.

Now, before we get into how this teacher made me never want to write again, I need to kind of explain the atmosphere in a college writing program.  In the Columbia program there were a few types of writers.

First, you had your "edgy" writers, who wrote what I liked to call the "young drug addicts in love" stories.  These were the stories where everyone was peachy keen till someone shot up, vomited and then spent the next two chapters detoxing while their significant other sat by their side, equally sweaty, gross and most likely reading their lover's upheave like tea leaves into their destined, tragic future.  An off shoot of these stories was the "quirky serial killers/sadists".  While the story itself may be labeled as a thriller or horror story, the general tone was more like a Wes Anderson take on Silence of the Lambs by way of Brett Easton Ellis.  While they played with the idea of genre, their focus was squarely in the more literary.  With this group you were looking at your hipsters and faux- Sex Pistols fans who bathed rarely, and always looked like they had just rolled in from a three day bender of speed balls and cheap whisky.  Required reading for them was most likely Requiem for a Dream and American Psycho.

The close cousin of the "edgy" writer is the "social ills".  These were the people who were using their fiction to bring down the man, man.  It was storytelling with a heavy dose of jumbled liberal arts humanities thrown in.  These people wanted to start a revolution with their stories, or at least appear that way so they could pick up chicks (or dudes).  They had a point to make, and eventually they would make it... if you could pick it out of the jumbled mess of their stories.  They wanted to create pieces that would freak people out and wake people up.  Their stories usually involved a lot of trippy visuals, subtext made text, cryptic messages and massive amounts of creepy sex, and symbolic violence.  These were the people who worshiped at the altar of Hunter S. Thompson, William S. Burroughs and Hubert Selby Jr. (who also wrote Requiem for a Dream).  Their stories were usually nihilistic and nasty, because life was nihilistic and nasty.  They had feelings, too.  Usually those feelings came out as anger, despair and disgust. Politically they went both ways, though.  So, at least they were a diverse bunch.

Then you had your "sensory" writers.  These were the writers who not only wanted you to envision the world they were creating, but also taste it, smell it and live it. They wanted you to feel what they felt when they wrote, cuz damn it, they have feelings, and they want to share those feelings with the world.  Unlike the "social ills", the "sensory" writer tends to express more romanticized versions of feelings.  Sure, they can feel angry, but they are only angry because the person they love with all their heart just can't seem to catch a break.  These stories were squarely placed in reality, with very few breaks into any kind of surrealism, unless someone dropped acid during a 70's flashback.  Then you could expect four pages talking about the colors they saw, and how, for the first time they truly felt connected to every human on earth.  These stories aimed to bring up some Stand By Me style nostalgia, with imagery that usually involved wind rustling through tall grass, and a storyline that focused on a sick parent/sibling/friend/pet, or that last summer before the main character started high school/college/ their adult life, and feelings.  Lots of feelings. They would use sweeping, beautiful language... that would drag the pace of their story to a snails crawl (The teacher, whose name is being withheld to protect the snobby, was very guilty of this.  Sitting through a reading of one of her works in progress was like taking a sleeping pill.)  An offshoot of this was the urban "sensory" writer. Take that wind rustling through the grass and replace it with an open fire hydrant on a hot summers day, and you pretty much get the idea.  The not so fictional "memoir-light" novelists fall into this group, too. (While the stories they write are fiction, the basis is always connected to a singular event that shaped the author's adolescence.)  These were the quasi-hippies, the future yuppies and the more straight laced kids.  For them, it was all about creating a realistic, emotional experience while hopefully landing in Oprah's book club. These are the "next great American novel" types.

(Obviously these descriptions are very basic, and loaded with snark.  What?  Me, bitter?  Never!)

Finally, you had the genre writers.

Now, what do I mean when I say genre writer.  A genre writer is someone who focuses a specific audience type.  They tend to be the kind of books you see in mass market paperbacks at the end of check out lines, or at the airport.  They can be highly regarded literature (think Dracula or Frankenstein) or fun beach reads (James Patterson and Dean Koontz).  The main thing is they are trying to tell a specific TYPE of story, be it sci-fi, horror, fantasy, romance, erotica, suspense, mystery, thriller, etc. In the world of the Fiction Writing department, these were the nerds.  While everyone else was reading Toni Morrison and Tom Wolfe, these kids were reading Bentley Little and Nora Roberts (bet you never thought you would see those two names in the same sentence).  Genre, at least in the world of Columbia, was considered low end, while Literary works were considered high end.

Anywho!  I'm getting off track.

So, while I was in college (and now...) I loved writing horror.  I didn't write horror to be ironic.  I wrote horror to be horrifying and gross and nasty and fun.  I grew up loving ghost stories, slasher movies and comic books like Tales from the Crypt and Dead World.  I didn't want to write about the strength of the human spirit, I wanted to write about evil spirits testing the strength of co-eds who decided to spend the night in a haunted dorm, even though the school headmistress told them it was dangerous, and guess what, she was right!  I wanted to write trash. Not ironic trash, but full on John Waters by way of Roger Corman level trash.

So, I wrote trash.

I didn't aim to be the next, great American author.  I wanted to be the type of author who wrote paperbacks.  The kind that don't stay in print long, and end up doing the rounds in used bookstores, getting read over summers, or late at night.  The kinds of books with tawdry, tattered covers that showed the years of wear on them with pride.  I didn't want to write a book that would be studied in classes around the world.  I wanted to write the kind of books that people hid under their mattresses, or in the sock drawer because they didn't want their friends to know they liked "that kind"of book.  I wanted to write the kinds of books that I loved when I was a kid, like Midsummer by Matthew Costello, Suffer the Children by John Saul or The Cold One by Christopher Pike (all three are amazing books, by the way).  I wanted to create something that would give people that same, forbidden thrill that my friends and I felt when we would sneak volumes of Hot Blood out in chapel.  (Worship songs and erotic horror are odd mixes).

I mean, I wanted it to be well written trash, but I wanted to write what I wanted to write, and what I expected from my teachers was someone to help me build the tools to write the best trash possible.

What I got was a whole lot of side eye and shade.  I felt like my writing was constantly being shuffled to the side or dismissed because it wasn't "literary".  Sure, I had zombies, but they needed to be zombies with subtext.  What did their hunger for brains say about the human condition and our consumer society?  What did that topless, vampire cheerleader mean?  What did her blood covered, heaving bosoms reveal about the heteronormative patriarchy that is our society?

I honestly felt like only two or three teachers at Columbia ever really got me.  They were the ones who understood what I liked to write, the types of stories I wanted to tell, and they tried to guide me in the right direction in telling them.  (When I say I want to write trash, that doesn't mean I want to write shit.  I still want to create interesting characters and a fully fleshed out story.  I still want to create something that is well paced and enjoyable.)  Three out of how many teachers, and they weren't even teaching any of my core classes.

I was doomed in that program, and the one teacher, the one who really made me never want to write another sentence again, was not only running three of my classes, she was co-head of the Fiction Writing department, and her taste in writing was reflected in the majority of the classes available, and the instructors hired.  As the song goes, I was totally fucked.

When I got out of college, I was a wreck.  There were a billion and one reasons why, but part of it was because I really didn't feel like there was any reason to be bothering with this crap anymore.  It all felt so pointless.

I didn't write again for a couple years once I graduated.  I tried, but I could never really bring myself to get a story going.  What was the point?  I had already spent four and a half years of my life pretty much being told that my writing just wasn't worth it.  It was just silly stories.  I wasn't saying anything profound, so what was the point?

It took me two years before I finally said fuck it, fuck them, and fuck the idea of being a serious writer. I enjoyed writing when I was a kid because I wasn't writing for anyone else.  When I was at Columbia my writing suffered because I wasn't writing for myself.  I was writing for my teachers, and my peers.  I was writing stuff to make them respect me.  I tried to change my style to fit their mold so that I could get that same recognition I saw my peers getting.  In reality, I ended up writing total and complete shit. It wasn't my story anymore.  I wasn't asking myself what I wanted to write, I was asking myself what I thought they wanted to read, and it backfired horribly.  As much as I want to blame my teachers, and the program for my two year, self imposed exile from writing, it wasn't entirely their fault.  I lost sight of what writing had really meant to me.

As a kid I was writing the stories that I wanted to tell, and the fact that my friends got a kick out of them was just icing.  It took me two years, and finding a folder filled with my old "Claw" stories, for me to finally start writing for myself again.  That's why I wrote Fashion Victims and Spirit Lake all those years ago, and that's why I write the Accidental Demon Slayers stories now.  While I appreciate the people who come here and enjoy my stories, and I am grateful that people will even give my writing a chance.  I am far from great, and I know I will never be the next Stephen King or Bentley Little, but what does it matter?  Telling stories makes me happy, and I write to enjoy myself, to improve and to grow.  I write to let my imagination run wild.

I write because I love it.

The Halfway Point

So, we have officially reached the halfway point of Daughter of Darkness.  I actually have the arc completed (the story ended up being 40 parts!), and I have to say, I'm very pleased with how it's turned out.  I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far, and I hope you are ready for a few twists waiting on the horizon.  Also, just a little heads up.  Starting with Monday's post, the story starts to get a little more extreme, as far as the horrific content goes.  So, prepare yourself.

I'm already working on the next arc for the series, and I'll be posting a bit more on that as we get closer.  I can say this, it will not be as dark as Experiments or Daughter.  Both of the arcs, which I really am happy with, took the characters to hell and back, and I think it's about time they got a little break, and a chance to heal up emotionally and physically! Plus, I'm giving the tentacles a rest for this story.  I think they've done enough damage, don't you? So, look for the next arc to start in mid-July, following the conclusion of Daughter of Darkness.  

If you haven't noticed, I like to write and schedule way ahead (I currently have posts scheduled up to August).  Why?  When life takes over, I don't have to worry about taking any super long hiatuses.  That also means that I can assure you guys, the readers, that arcs will be completed.  There are few things more frustrating then starting a series, getting into it, and then just having it stop.  Not end, but just stop, as if the author has lost interest.  Posting this way means that there will be an ending, and that posts can keep on coming.  It also means that I don't have to rush to complete posts, and make the story suffer as a result.

It is a little odd for me, though, because I have to remind myself that my posts are months behind what I've already written.  I have to make sure I don't post any accidental spoilers!

So, please keep reading, and hopefully enjoying, the world of Accidental Demon Slayers!

I am going to make a little note here about Alternate Lives.  I'm working on the game, but the main reason it has not been released yet is because I am not very happy with it.  While the story idea is good, it just doesn't feel like it's really ready.  That excitement that I felt for the first Accidental Demon Slayers game just isn't there. As I go over the game, it just feels like something is missing, or off. While I would love to get the game completed, I also don't want to release something that I don't feel is really ready to be released.  This is one of those times where I wish I worked with other people, because I think what the game really needs is a different view point.  The story is told from such a different perspective then the first game (all the main characters are female), and while there are parts that I think truly shine, other parts just feel rushed and clunky.  That's the kicker about being a one man team.  You get total control, but when things start going wrong, it all falls on you to make it right.

Opinions are like...

So, this is a little rambling totally unrelated to anything currently running on this blog.  So, just a heads up.  (Also, it's REALLY long.  SORRY!)

Over the past couple of years I have found myself at Salon.com.  For those who don't know what Salon.com is, it's a quasi-news site that really is more focused on opinion pieces then actual news.  The opinions tend to lean very far to the left politically and socially, and for the most part, I've found myself enjoying the regular discussions on politics in America, as well as the continued social changes that our country is undergoing every day.  Still, recently I've found myself frustrated with the content posted on the site.

My frustration really started with the whole CancelColbert thing.  If you didn't read about it (lucky you), the whole thing started with a joke taken out of context and posted on twitter.  Suey Park, a hashtavist (yes, that is a thing now), responded to the joke, which seemed to make light of Asian stereotypes, with the CancelColbert hash tag.  The initial stories were interesting, as were the articles that popped up all over the internet.  Then the articles started to reveal something more important.  Suey Park's intentions, and more importantly, her complete lack of understanding when it came to her own motives, outside of drawing attention to herself (and a little more digging seemed to make that point even more clear, and revealed it to be a part of a pattern).  Quickly, other sites started dropping the story, and interest wained.  Not Salon, though.  No, Salon dragged the story on for what seemed like weeks.  They wrote opinion piece after opinion piece, sometimes writing opinion pieces about other opinion pieces.  While the rest of the world had quickly forgotten about Suey Park and her hastavism, Salon was riding it for all it was worth.

Then came their interview with Park.  To say the interview was a disaster is putting it lightly.  I can't even begin to describe how bizarre, and at times, non-sensical it was.  If you want to see what I mean, read it for yourself.

Salon Interview: Suey Park

Salon had thrown so much weight behind Suey, and in the end, it turned out that they were all blindly following a young woman who, while passionate about her cause, really didn't understand what her cause was fighting for.  More importantly, she was using her cause for selfish gain, and in turn, drew attention away from another cause that was finally getting noticed in the press.  (That cause happened to be Native Americans vs. the owner of the Redskins, a battle that has been going on for a VERY long time).  There was a discussion to be had in all that mess, specifically the fine line satire walks when dealing with issues such as racism, sexism and homophobia, and how context is important, but not an excuse when a joke misses it's intended target.  That conversation never started, because the person who everyone was looking to start the conversation didn't want to have that conversation.  She just wanted a pulpit to scream from, and after reading her interview, I'm not sure she even knew what she was really screaming about in the first place.

Now, it is not uncommon to see politically minded websites or TV shows, both on the left and right, throw their weight behind a particular person or message, only to have it blow up in their face.  Just take a look at Sean Hannity and the Cliven Bundy fiasco.  It happens.  My issue with all of this is really not so much about the whole Colbert incident, and more with the idea of opinion pieces.

Opinion pieces, unlike news articles, tend to focus on the author's own opinion, and person beliefs, as they relate to a current political or social topic.  They also, as I have noticed, tend to be very reactionary.  They spring up as an event begins to unfold, and people latch on to one particular aspect of a story, or one particular line of thought or reasoning.  The problem is, the people writing these opinion pieces tend to publish their stories before the whole event has played out, and all the players have revealed who they truly are, and what their true thoughts and beliefs are.  Again I point to Cliven Bundy.  While Sean Hannity saw in him a modern day cowboy, he later learned that Cliven's views on the current state of the world weren't so modern.  Hell, his opinions seemed to be trapped in a time before the Civil War!

People have a right to their opinion, and they have a right to voice their opinion, but sometimes, just maybe, it's a good idea to stop, think, research, and examine where this particular ideal that you are about to rally behind is coming from, and what the true intentions are behind them.  Also, look at your own intentions before writing these pieces.

That takes me to my current issue with Salon, and opinion pieces, both in print and on TV in shows such as The O'Reilly Factor or their liberal counterparts, in general.  When I see an article with a title that basically says "So and So is wrong because..." or "So and So is the worst person in America because...", I lose all interest (Well, there are a few exceptions).  Why?  There's no real chance for discussion.  Automatically the article or segment takes a hostile tone with it's subject.  Add in words such as bone head, idiot or stupid, and you've lost me completely.

Good opinion pieces, at least in my eyes, are not just about stating the author's opinions, but also attempt to start a dialogue on the subject at hand.  Unless you are just trying to troll, your aim should not be to yell at the person with the opposite opinion of you, it should be to engage them.  You can't change someone's mind if they stop listening, and you can't learn if you, in turn, refuse to listen.

This brings me to my third, and final issue with Salon.  The readers.  This is not just an issue with this one particular site, but with the internet as a whole.

One of the responses to the Colbert incident was written by Brittney Cooper.  She usually writes pieces that deal with racism in America, specifically it's continued effect on the Black/African American community.  I've read a few of Cooper's pieces, and while I don't always agree with her, I can tell you right now that I have learned from what she has written.  Her pieces, while harsh, and at times loaded with frustration and anger, are never cruel, and while she is very clear in her opinion, she never attempts to belittle those she is speaking out against.  Her pieces are not nice, they are not friendly, but guess what, neither is racism.  Cooper's response to the CancelColbert hashtag was just like her others, unflinchingly honest, and a reflection on her beliefs.  It pointed out the sometimes buried racism that lies within even the most open minded and accepting of people.  It was honest, and at times painful to read, but it was her opinion, based off of her life experiences, and it was obvious that she had put a lot of thought into what she had written.

Her article was not my problem.

My problem was the responses she received.  I'm sure you can guess what that response was.  There were threats of violence and rape.  People called her an idiot, among other names.

What saddens me most about this is that these responses are not shocking, and even worse, expected.  While opinion pieces written by professionals can sometimes be sloppy, and occasionally done for a grab at attention, the opinions voiced by the general readership is like listening to the ramblings of a sociopath.  Even with the internet to keep us safely anonymous, why would anyone feel that it is appropriate, even in jest, to threaten, or belittle someone?  In my mind I try and remind myself that the people who write that stuff are either a)unbalanced psycho paths who are holed up in a bunker with a shotgun and twenty years worth of army rations or b)a troll who is just trying to get a rise out of someone.  I try to say that a is worse then b, but... I can't.  Which is worse?  A mentally ill person, who lives in a world of delusion that is shaped not only by their own thoughts, but by a constant stream of outside influence that has warped their already fragile mind so badly that they are no longer fit to be in society, or someone who is considered sane, and just likes to use rape and death threats for fun? Rape is not fun.  Murder is not fun.  Inflicting violence on another person is not fun.  Not if you are normal, sane human being with a conscience.  So why is using these threats considered a fun internet past time?  How can the person receiving the threats know that they are fakes?  Even if the threat is a joke, the fear that they cause is not.  These people are not just trolls, they are sadists who enjoy causing fear and pain for another individual, and for what?  Shits and giggles?  To feel slightly superior to someone else while you sit in your mom's basement getting Cheeto crumbs trapped in your keyboard?  Threatening to rape someone, or murder them (or their families) does not make superior.  It makes you a psycho.

I have been thinking about all of this for a while, and I'm sure most people won't even make it to this paragraph, as I have found myself rambling on for much longer then I had intended. My whole argument boils down to this.  Growing up I was always told to think before I speak.  Maybe next time, before you or I post something on the internet, be we paid journalists or just a person posting in the comments, we look at what we are about to put out into the world, and we stop, we think, and really consider not only how our words will reflect back on us, and what they truly reveal about us, but how those words will effect those exposed to our ideas.  Will they help?  Do they have a true purpose outside of getting people to react like an unfocused angry mob? Will they further a conversation, or will they hurt someone, or worse, stoke the fires of hate in someone?  Earlier I had called Opinion Pieces reactionary.  They are.  So is our culture.

Maybe it's time we changed that.

The Fruits of My Labor

So, as I've mentioned, I've started going back to school.  I'm going for graphic design, but a lot of the intro classes are really focused on how to compose, and create interesting imagery, as well as learning some basic (and not so basic) drawing skills.  As the semester starts to come to a close I thought I would share some of the stuff I've worked on over the last few months.  Be kind, I'm just a beginner!

A movie poster project for Graphic Design 1

            A drawing of one of my classmates.  This is just the rough sketch.  I haven't gotten the original back yet.  (Fingers crossed a get an okay grade!)

A rough draft of my Drawing for Design Final 

                                                              My first text project... 

       The Quote Poster project.  (Really proud with how the picture turned out) 

Obviously this isn't everything I've worked on.  These are just a few of the projects I've done that I'm particularly proud of.  (Don't kill me for the bad type!  I'm not taking Typography until the fall!)

As the story continues... Ramblings of an Excited Writer

As of writing this, Daughter of Darkness is scheduled up to part 26 (so, through the first week of June), and as of right now, I am just starting to set things up for the big finale.  So I'm thinking Daughter of Darkness still has a good ten to fifteen parts left in it.  We shall see!

I had never expected this story to go on as long as it has, but there is just something about this particularly story arc that has really gotten me excited.  If you can't tell (and I'm sure you can), I am figuring out the mythology of Accidental Demon Slayers as I write.  It's not the best way to create a detailed world, but with this particular story I find myself wanting to delve deeper into the how and why, and not just the what happens next. 

Daughter of Darkness has really become a way for me to explore the history behind Juktha and the other lost gods, as well as different parts of the ADS universe, such as who is really pulling the strings.  For me, this creative process is so exciting, especially when dealing with characters that I truly enjoy writing for.  I'm not just referring to the core Accidental Demon Slayers characters, but also the side characters, such as Max and his crew, and Jean, the park owner. 

The danger of my excitement is that I don't always think about how the story is being read.  The beginning of this particular arc is very slow, I know.  I wanted to set more of a status quo, while also giving the characters just a touch more depth then I have in the past.  That same goal is being applied to the side characters that I've brought into this story.  One of the most frustrating things for me in Experiments of Darkness was that I could never really get a hold on any of the side characters. Elizabeth developed into something, but the rest never really popped, which is most of them were either written out quickly, or killed off (although Megan does make an appearance in Daughter of Darkness).  Part of that was me being rusty.  It had been a long while since I had written a serial story, and scheduling myself, and keeping on task with my writing became an issue.  Right now, with Daughter of Darkness, I have written months in advance.  With Experiments, I was struggling not to miss posts.  So, in my frustration, I rushed the story. One of the side effects of rushing was that I wasn't entirely happy with the final outcome.  I was so worried about making sure that SOMETHING got posted, that I wasn't focused on how to best tell that particular story.  Daughter is a way for me to take the threads that were started in Experiments, and expand upon them, while also strengthening characters that were largely left out of the first arc.    

Now, one problem with added depth means a slower pace.  I am allowing myself to let the introductions and the set up stretch out a little more.  I want to give the story a bit more time to breath.  Still, if you stick with it there are a few, fun and nasty surprises on their way.  So please, stick with it!  Thank you again for reading!