Frustration

So, another day has come, which means another day looking at job hunt websites. 

One of the quickest ways to short circuit your brain is to go to these sites with no idea what you are looking for.  It's almost instant information overload.  I can feel my brain melting as I scan over the different job openings using location as my only guide, wondering if maybe the job I'm looking at is something I might be interested in. How do I know?  I've been doing one thing for so long that I can't think of doing anything else. 

The frustration sets in when I look at the job requirements.  Even if I am interested, most entry level positions want a year to two years of experience.  I have experience.  Tons of experience, just not in that particular field. 

This sounds horrible to say, but it is starting to feel like I've wasted the last couple years of my life. 

Do I mean that?  Do I really feel like all my years working on production was a waste?  No.  I met some amazing people, had some amazing experiences, but now that I want to move on, I feel like I've been trapped in a bubble, and the whole world decided to up and change around me. 

So I sit here, trying to create a plan.  How do you restart your adult life?  The last time I was in this position I was right out of college, freshly sober, and with the world laid out in front of me.  Now I find myself inching closer to 30, with no clear idea of what I want my future to be.  Everything is shrouded in a thick haze, and I wish it would just clear a little so that I could get a glimpse, even a faint outline, of what I want to do.

During this time people try to be helpful, and I appreciate that.  My family keeps throwing ideas at me.  What about this?  Or this?  Or this?  All that does is add to the frustration or confusion.  I snap, I can't help it.   Suddenly my brain fills up with information, and I just can't take it anymore.  I can't focus, I can't think, and all I want is to retreat into a silent peace to sort everything out.  It's like hearing voices in your head, except those voices are coming from people who care about you, who only want to help, and all you can think is "Please shut up.  SHUT UP!" 

So now I'm not only frustrated, but I feel like an ungrateful ass.  They only want to help.  They want to see my to succeed, and all I can do is snap at them?  I repay their interest, and their concern with anger. 

People usually describe life as a path, a journey.  Do you take the high road, or the low road?  The easy way, or the way less traveled?  Here's my question. What do you do when you can't even see the road?  What do you when the path ends, and you are just left with unexplored, dense, dark forest?