Regina sat on a bench, across the street from the clothing
shop, watching the blonde, perky Guardian Angel bounce around, trying on
different clothes.
The sight of that… cream puff made her sick.
Her boss had finally given her a task as an official
Demoness, and this was it. She was
supposed to screw up the bubble brains plans.
This is not what I
signed up for, she thought to herself.
When she had enrolled in Earth training she thought she would get to do
something cool, like possess someone, or cause some mass destruction.
Regina, still grumbling to herself, stood up, and started
down the street. Screw it. She was above this job, and there was no way
in hell that she would lower herself to this grunt work. She had skills, damn it. Sure, she hadn’t been the top of her class,
and if she was being totally honest, she probably landed closer to the bottom
of the ranking, but she was at least better qualified than getting “Left
Shoulder Duty”.
She shuddered at the mention.
“And where do you think you’re going?” A homeless man who had been passed out on the
sidewalk suddenly sat up, his eyes locking with hers.
“Oh, screw off.” She
tried to walk past him, but the bum’s hand shot up, grabbing her wrist.
“You have a job, young lady, and you are going to see it
through.” The bum’s voice didn’t sound
right. He had to be fifty years old, at
least, and from the yellow stains on his teeth, a lifetime smoker. His voice actually sounded almost…
feminine.
Wait, had he called her young lady?
“Mom!” Regina yanked
her arm back. “What the hell are you
doing here?”
“Keeping you from committing career suicide.” The bum stood up, brushing a collection of
dust and bird crap off of his pants.
“You were just going to walk away, weren’t you?”
“You don’t understand, I was just…”
“No, you don’t understand.
If your father was here to see this it would break his cold, black
heart.” The bum shook his head,
crocodile tears welling in his eyes.
“Please, do not make a scene.” She glanced around the street, and noticed a
few people watching them. “Especially
not when you’re dressed like… that.”
“Now you’re ashamed of me!” The bum threw up his arms,
howling.
“I… I wasn’t going to walk away.” She wracked her brain, trying to think of a
way out of this. “I was just going to
go… stake out my ‘Left Shoulder’.”
Her mother, currently residing in the body of a homeless man
who had seen better days, calmed down.
“Everyone starts here, sweetie.” Her mom reached out a grimy, filth coated
hand and stroked her cheek, leaving a streak of dirt, soot and God knew what
else on her face. “For everyone Guardian Angel on the right shoulder, a person
needs a little Hellish Helper on the left.”
“I know that, I just…” Regina shook her head, her short,
black hair shaking around her pale white face.
“I thought that I might get a cool job, like a possession, or something.”
“In due time.”
There was a sudden ding that seemed to come out of
nowhere.
“Darn it! The roast
is ready.” Her mother leaned over, using
the homeless man’s lips to kiss her on the cheek. “Stick with it, and I’ll check in on you
later.”
Regina cringed, the smell of urine and stale liquor filling
her nostrils. “Fine, fine, just back
your human host up a little! He’s on the
ripe side.”
“Who you calling ripe, bitch?” The bum, now fully back in control of his
body, was looking at her, his eyes drawn to slits.
“Bitch?” Regina reached out, and grabbed the homeless man by
the balls. She squeezed, hard. “Who you calling bitch, bitch?”
The homeless man yelped, and when she released his dangly
bits, he darted away from her with a speed that she didn’t think possible.
She glanced back at the clothing shop, watching as the
Guardian Angel and a human woman exited the store, and started down the
sidewalk. As much as she didn’t want to,
she had a job to do, and damn it, she was going to get it done as fast as she
could.
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