Eye See You: The Last Days of Janelle pt. 7

The hangover the next day is welcome.

The pain keeps the fear away. 

That fear.  That damn fear. 

I learned early on that my emotions were not my own. 

They were the Unknown Senders. 

He could turn my dials whenever he wanted.

Anxiety cranked up to 11. 

Booze eases it up. Sex helps sometimes. 

Combine the two and I could pass out for a couple of hours. 

I shower, washing away the stink of failed religious intervention, and my expected slide back into graphic, orgasmic sin.

Smelling like berries and sunshine I get dressed. 

I look at the four walls of my bedroom. 

I feel trapped. 

I have class.  I could go to class.

I remember the picture.

Maybe I’ll see him there.

Randy.

The last name on the list.